Deathly Silence

Seeing those four words
The room suddenly went deathly quiet
No distant birdsong heard
No tears were shed.

How can one cry,
When countless hours before were spent
Crying in fear of seeing
Those very words?

Instead, here I sit.
Feeling nothing.
My body
My brain
My emotions
Under quarantine.

Typing
Meaningless words
So that my brain won't dwell
On meaningful ones.

I'm calmer than I thought I'd be.
Just cold. Shivering. Maybe it's the weather.
Unashamed. Not saddened.
Just annoyed at how I spent the last five weeks.

I won't cry;
I've wasted enough time.
I won't get mad
Even though I want to.

Most importantly? I will not become
The girl who almost got in.
I am still the girl who got an offer.
I don't want or need self pity.

Now is the time
To prove to
Every
Single
Motherfucker
Who questioned my potential
That they were wrong.

That's all.

I will get my head down
And get my grades

Their loss.