I Am

I am but a vessel
Of decrepit dreams
Whole and broken
But that doesn't deter me

Burn me

Blind me
I do not bleed easily 

For I have walked
Alone in the dark;
All I fear is my own mind.

My skin has been plunged

In flames that were ignited

By my own failure.

I have stood at the precipice
My foot shakily hovering over the edge
Now my mind is an anchor
No longer do I sway.

Yet still, I remember the fear

Billowing through my veins.

Fear at the power I held
In my two hands as I
Dangled my feet
Off that cliff edge;
Tentatively dipped them
Into the dark.

Gazing down

At that charcoal black escape

Seeking freedom

My fingers briefly loosened their grip

But fear paralysed me.

It's alarming, the

Sense of realisation when

Your world has crumbled apart

In the palms of your hands

For hands have
The power to heal;
The power to destroy.

Perhaps that's why I did not use them In the past.

Hidden under a blanket,

Nestled in the crook of

Daylight's arms,

Neglecting them destroyed dreams.

Dreams; that

Coloured my mind

With soft hues

& lazy blues croons

Of summer afternoons

And sure, the stillness of

Your hands is honourable; is safe.
You will not do wrong
You will not be hurt.

But in their stillness, those hands lay

Quiet as the dead.

The Doctor

Hello sir! What
Troubles you today?
Says the doctor
It's often this way

A smile at the
Surface, but beneath
Clear as ice:
One simple mistake and
The patient pays the price.

---

This is what scares me the most about medicine. Knowing that the lives of others will be in my hands. I don't want to do accidental wrong. Heck, I don't want to do wrong, period.

But I'm only human. And humans make mistakes.

Perhaps I should pray to delay the onset of such humanity.

Tomorrow

I fear
what tomorrow
brings
every day.

I wonder
if it'll justify
me behaving
This way.

Side note: I've decided to feed my fixation with poetry by setting up a twitter account - who knew a community of poets existed here? You can find me at @peoplepuzzleme

I'll be posting some of my twitter creations here also (like this).

Advocate.

I wanted you.
But your bloody red lips opened.

I needed you.
But your pseudo emotions leaked and
Your words became dust.
Smiles became crooked and I was trapped
In your spider's web.

And now; I.
The master at deciphering your lies.

But still, I need you.

So languid; oh love.
Why are you so?
Twisted; distorted.
You snatched my soul.

My eyes hollowed, my heart a corpse.
And yet you stab me with your bullshit

word

after

word.

And yet you degrade me with your lies, as if I'm the devil's advocate.
With every syllable that spirals from your lips.

Seeing You.

Seeing you reminds me of

Lips

Pressing against my skin.
I feel your smile.
They drag, left to right,
Soft; firm.
A pink blush left in their wake.
I bite my own. You chuckle and reciprocate.

I blink. You're staring ahead.
Your gaze does not waver.
Do you know, I wonder?
That seeing you now
Wrenches at memories of

Kisses. Along my neck, down my collarbone.
Gently taking the skin of my earlobe
Between your teeth.

My eyes do not leave yours
Burning into mine. Seeing you
Makes me feel like a pathetic little girl with
A high school crush;

small and powerless.

You take a step towards me
But my feet have fixed themselves
To the rocky ground beneath them.

Another.

Inside I cry
For my limbs to obey.

They do not.

And now, you're only
A hand's length away.

Suddenly I can't bear to look at you.

Another step.
Closer, now.

So close
That your breath caresses
My cheeks. Close enough to smell wisps
Of the aftershave you're wearing.

I lean towards you instinctively

No.

I feel your hand reach out
And my mind screams at
My body to move.

I must go now.
I have to go now.

I walk away.